NOZOMI NOOO
by PastellRain
Summary: 7.8 "Too much Umi" -IGN
1. Nozomi, Nooo

**AN** : Yeah I just wasn't able to write lately. I was too depressed. I don't want to have to explain it but basically even the things I liked to do no longer did anything for me. Writing felt like pain.

I still wanted to write though. (Trust me, I've been trying al this time)

As I try to get back into the swing of things, I'll be uploading short little crack fics. Oh well. See the bottom if you want to know why I ship NozoUmi.

* * *

Once upon a time there was a rich hipster named Nozomi who wanted things to be more ~SPIRITUAL~ so she went on a journey on a magic carpet around the world looking for people who understood her. (Also, to spread swag everywhere.)

Nozomi always made sure to always wear a classy beret and play the banjo to goats. She would drink lots of pomegranate juice so she grow to be majestic.

During her travels, Nozomi fell in love with a little piece of ocean, with its deep blue ripples, gently rolling waves, and whirlpools that gripped onto Nozomi like a tenacious and passionate lover and wouldn't let go. So Nozomi decided to flirt with the ocean using her spiritual hipster powers.

"Are you the ocean?" Nozomi said, smitten, "Because have one deep soul."

The ocean was not impressed so she splashed Nozomi in the face with salty water.

"What are you so salty about?" Nozomi said, tilting her sunglasses, "Because I'm so smooth?"

Nozomi asked what the ocean's name was. The little piece of ocean said her name was Umi and she wanted to take Nozomi on a date. The ocean gave Nozomi its phone number.

So Nozomi used her SPIRITUAL POWERR to transform part of the ocean into a human girl. She had flowing blue hair as deep and majestic as the depths of melodic sea itself, but as it flowed outwards it progressed to an airy, bright aqua of clean shallow shores. Her eyes were a pale yellow, like the sand.

"Nozomi... I've always wanted to be a human," The ocean said, looking at her hands for the first time.

Nozomi hugged the beautiful Umi and they started to sing. Their love became so deep and spiritual that they soared above the ground when they were together, feeling the wonderful rush of magic and euphoria in their veins as the wind whipped through their hair and long, flowing dresses. They were able to soar when they were together.

Nozomi and Umi had a great time frolicking around. It was so wonderfully amazing that an evil witch named Maki got jealous.

So Maki descended down broodingly from the land of the brooms, with a dark rendition of "Daring!" playing in the background...

"Nozomi Toujou, put the ocean back in its place." Maki commanded, as red lightning cracked the sky in half. "Stop having it be missing."

"How about no?" Nozomi pushed up her sunglasses. "I'm Nozomu Toujou, queen of Muse, putting out them rhymes like Dr. Seuss. I'm the smooth homo and that's who I am, I put the double "o" in smooth because I'm Nozomi Toujou. So you better not pout, you better not cry-"

"QUIET!" Maki thundered. "I bet you can't think of another rhyme!"

So then Maki and Nozomi got in a SPIRITUAL RAP BATTLE.

"I'm Nozomi, everyone's homie, you're just lonely and baloney!"

"My name's Maki, queen of sassy, you're just tacky, acting wacky!"

"Guys?" Umi cried. She didn't want for them to be fighting. "Guys?"

Maki cast her voice up to the heavens.

"BY THE POWER OF DOG FOOD."

She summoned a beam from her broom and turned Nozomi into a volleyball. Nozomi plummeted down and bounced onto the sandy stretch of white land below.

"Nozomi, no!" Umi cried, running towards her. "Nozomiii..."

Maki began to cackle like the villain girl from an old shoujo anime. Oohohoho~!

"That's what you get, you lil' punks!" Maki flew out of the distance on her broom, her fingers in the rock symbol. Whoosh!

Umi held the volleyball which used to be Nozomi in her cold, shaking hands that were as frigid as stiff popsicles.

Nozomi had sacrificed her physical form so that she could be together with Umi.

Umi's sandy eyes grew wet and damp with her tears, spilling uncontrollably from her tear ducts. She was so saddened and touched at the same time.

"Nozomi..."

Suddenly, Umi abruptly wiped her wet, sandy eyes and looked at the volleyball with a face so suddenly sharp and determined, it could kill. She was having a heroic moment.

"I will... give you the best life ever! Even if you are now a volleyball... I will become strong to protect you and hold you close, the way you always protected me. I will give you love, I will give you hope, and I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!"

So Umi didn't. Umi went to the beach with Nozomi. She went to the fancy restaurant and took her to the park, the bathroom, and even to the dance club.

"Mm... baby, I love your ripples and curves..." Umi lifted Nozomi up to her face and sensually caressed her velvety curvaceous volleyball lines.

Holding back tears of grief at missing hearing her lover's voice, Umi nudged at the volleyball and kissed it gently.

"Ew! Look at that girl, being all lewd with with a volleyball." Nico laughed like a chihuahua coughing up a hair ball.

"NOZOMI HAS A SOUL YOU LITTLE HYPOTENUSE." Umi glared at Nico, jumped up and kicked her right in the caboosey. In high heels.

"Kyaaa! Stop kicking me in the Nico Nico Knee!" Nico squealed.

"ONLY IF YOU SAY IT'S TRUE LOVE!" Umi yelled, pulling out a guitar.

"Ah, not the guitar!" Nico dashed away.

Even though Nozomi couldn't talk or convey her emotions, she was so, so touched that Umi loved her so much and stayed so compassionate and to her. Now that she was just a volleyball, she felt so touched and fortunate that there was someone who could still love her, no matter what form she took.

Until the day they needed to part.

When the sun finally set in sunrise land...

Umi was taking a stroll with Nozomi along the shore. When suddenly...

"Umi, thank you..." Nozomi said.

Umi felt as if she had been touched by an angel. Nozomi was talking now? She could hardly believe her ears. She looked at the volleyball with eyes melting as if they were made of corn sap.

"Thank you Umi... for all you've done." Nozomi said.

"You're welcome..." Umi said, biting her lip. "But... why do you sound so sad?"

"Because the time has come, Umi." Nozomi said. "It is time we must say farewell."

The words stung Umi's heart, like a bad heartburn that happens after eating greasy fast food.

"Farewell..."

"But... but why?" Umi began to cry. She shed salty ocean tears that battered the white powder sand, leaving dark circles on the wide sandbank.

"The cards told me that it was my destiny." Nozomi said. "You are the sea, Umi. I am a human in my true form. And we can no longer be together, for the world does not allow it. I am so sorry..."

Fireflies began to light up the seashore, complimenting the warm, breathtakingly glowing sky.

"But Nozomi... Why? Why? I don't want you to leave..." Umi collapsed to the ground, overtaken by wracking sobs. Ocean water flowed from her eyes. "I love you so much... Nozomi..."

"I am sorry Umi. But there is one last I need to tell you."

Nozomi the volleyball majestically lifted up in the air, out of Umi's grasp, and began to sparkle amongst the magical scene. Umi eyed the glowing volleyball in awe. She bit her lip and held back the tears.

"Farewell, this is really difficult to say. I don't want to leave either, because I love you Umi. You were the one. The one who stayed by my side no matter what, who never gave up on me. You were my true love until the end. You're a part of my life I will always remember."

Nozomi the volleyball floated back down to Umi's face and gave her a goodbye kiss that filled them both with overflowing love, warmth and pain at the same time.

"It is time. Farewell Umi. I will always remember you. Don't forget to brush your teeth or else your butt will fall off."

Nozomi began to roll down the sand until she was stopped by the stretch of shallow water. She began to let the tide carry her away.

"Nozomi, noooo!" Umi ran down the sand after her.

"Nozomi, Nozomi..."

The volleyball floated away, further and further into the brightly glimmering distance. The rhythmic waves carried her inwards and then outwards, slipping away silently from Umi's grasp.

Eventually, Nozomi was dragged so far away, that it was pointless for Umi to try and go after her. If Umi submerged herself in water, she would be swept away as well, as she was a part of the ocean herself.

"Nozomi, I'm sorry!" Umi called out, setting her sobs aside. "I'm sorry about everything... I wish I could've told you how much I love you... Nozomi. Please. I'll miss you too much. Don't break my heart like this..."

"I love you..."

Umi swore she heard she final echo of Nozomi's voice resonate above the waves, to her ears.

"Nozomi, noooo!"

The giant red sun sunk below the point of the horizon, casting the land in a warm fuzzy darkness. The tiny speck rolling on the waves became smaller and smaller until it was no longer in sight.

Umi stood still, trying to accept the bitter reality that Nozomi was gone, and all that was left was the hypnotic noise of the gently crashing waves that had carried her into the distance.

She couldn't accept it.

"No... I'm alone now. The one person who loved me, the one I held close and treasured... my only one... is no longer with me."

When I find myself in times of trouble, Nozomi Toujou comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, big booty.

Umi cried and cried, until she became nothing but salty water. When she woke up one morning, she saw nothing but sky and water. Umi's glorious life as a human being has left her as well. She was once again the sea.

Umi knew that by now, Nozomi was able to turn back into a human. She was nowhere to be seen among the waves. She was as distant from Umi once again as long before.

"If Nozomi can be a human again... if she can live as a human and be happy without me..." Umi thought, "Then perhaps it was worth turning back into the sea."

"Thank you Nozomi, for the wonderful times I've shared with you. I'll never forget about you, ever."

Nozomi never forgot about Umi. Eventually she traveled the world and became the most spiritual person of all. Never once did she cease to think about Umi as she ascended from the physical realm and became higher than all the others.

Even though they were so far away. Nozomi would always look down back to the old world she left, and gaze at the wondrous blue that was the ocean. She would get misty eyed, yet comforted at the same time. Somewhere within the heart of the marvelous blue, was the soul of Umi Sonoda, the love she would never forget.

Umi would always look up to the sky, knowing Nozomi was there. She could always feel her presence. Her smile and heart were embedded into the heavens itself, shining to her with every sunrise and sunset. Umi could feel the warmth of Nozomi's heart all around her.

From then on, the sky and ocean were always connected. The memories of the ocean will never disappear from the sky. The memories of the sky will never disappear from the ocean.

Even though Nozomi and Umi are apart, they will always be together in each other's souls.

And then Maki got hit with a banana.

The end!

* * *

 **Why I ship NozoUmi:**

It was initially result of shipping the two left-over characters that weren't already in a ship for me. It grew on me, and now i ship it hard.

I imagine Umi still being a little immature in ways and often too much of a perfectionist, so Nozomi gives her wise words and new perspective to soothe Umi's many worries and to teach her to be more positive.

Umi is really really attached to Nozomi like a big sister. She gets dramatic when she's worried about her, as opposed to Umi usually concealing her feelings. Umi feels like she can show the deeper sides of herself to Nozomi, who is warm and reliable.

Plus Nozomi likes to tease Umi a little, but in a nice way. Calling her cute, playing with her hair, initiating pillow fights, just to make her smile.

Umi admires Nozomi for being so mature and nurturing, a leader in her own way. Nozomi appreciate's Umi's hard-working and focused attitude, even to the point where she overwhelms herself.

 _"Umi_ _really is a good person. She's just a little shy. But she's really dependable and I know inside she has a pure heart."_

 _"Nozomi really is honest and caring. I really appreciate it. I guess you could even say… I look up to her, in ways."_


	2. Hoenn Confirmed

Once upon a time, there was a little ship in a big port, called the S.S. RinPana.

Compared to all the other ships in its port, it was rather small. The S.S. NicoMaki was huge, and so was the NozoEli. KotoUmi was rather formidable too. The RinPana felt like it didn't belong.

One day the S.S. RinPana sailed away, on a long journey to discover itself, and to grow and flourish in the process.

The two captains, Rin and Hanayo, were rather discouraged, and kept losing hope of ever even having a song duet together.

* * *

One dark and stormy night...

"Rin, I think we're in another shit storm!" Hanayo cried.

Bright lightning tore the dark sky in half. A deafening clap of loud echoing thunder followed.

A wall of steady downpour battered and doused the small ship, which was being tossed and shoved by the waves viciously as if it was some sort of little bath toy.

"If only our ship was like the S.S. NicoMaki..." Rin cried, "Maybe then it could survive this shit storm."

Bobbing from over the tall waves, was some sissy prissy laughter. "Ohohoho~" The kind from an old 90's shoujo anime.

It could only be one thing...

"It's the S.S. RinMaki!" Hanayo called out to Rin, "I think Maki wants to destroy our ship again! And steal YOU away too, Rin!"

Hanayo and Rin dove into each other's arms and started sobbing like lovebirds with broken wings.

"Rin, I could never be without you!" Hanayo wept.

"Kayo-chin, I love you too much! To be torn apart from you would be more painful than a thousand thorns into the heart!"

"Ugh, you guys are so dramatic!" Maki, the captain of the S.S. RinMaki crossed her arms and groaned. Rin and Hanayo still wouldn't stop screaming, so Maki decided to just ram her bigger, stronger ship into the hull of the S.S. RinPana. Crash! The tiny wooden ship crumbled apart and filled with water.

"Have a nice sink! Ohohoho!" Maki took off, laughing again. Her ship began to fly into thin air as if it were a witch's broom.

"If this is the end, Hanayo, than I'm glad the last thing I can see is your face... and the last thing I can feel is the presence of your heart..."

Hanayo and Rin kissed one last time before tragically sinking into the ocean. Hanayo's sudden, compassionate kiss to console Rin in her last minutes brought tears to her eyes, which pooled down her face and conjoined with the tears of Hanayo.

Rin's grip tightened around Hanayo's hands as if she didn't want to let go, even in death. Hanayo gripped Rin's hands back. If Rin didn't want to drift apart, then Hanayo was not going to let her.

The tears they shed combined with the sea, and made the ocean sparkle.

* * *

...Then they anticlimactically just woke up somewhere a few hours later.

"Ugh... I feel like I just got flushed down the toilet." Rin said. "This stinks. Well, at least we aren't in the sewers..."

"Rin, what just happened last night..." Hanayo blushed. "Did we... kiss?"

"I... I think... we did!" Rin's eyes grew large. "Wow... I feel all tingly..."

Rin held herself and trembled in some sort of strange emotion... it felt overwhelming, but... oddly good.

"I... feel like something is blossoming within me. What could it..." Hanayo squeaked.

"Me too..." Rin shivered. "Let's try... kissing again."

Rin closed her eyes. Hanayo brought her lips to Rin, held each other close, and they both savored it. For a few seconds, it felt as if nothing mattered. Warm fizziness bubbled between the two of them and lifted them up in cream soda heaven...

Then they remembered.

"Our ship sank..." Rin sighed.

"Rin-chan... Cheer up though!" Hanayo said, "Rin... we're at civilization."

The girls stepped out of the shallow water and walked up the stairs leading to the center of town.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"We are Team Magma, and we will stop at nothing to conquer the world! We'll get rid of the sea, and replace it all with land!"

Maki chanted with her fellow Team Magma members.

"Welcome aboard, Maki. I am glad that there is another one of us who thinks the land is superior to that blasted sea."

"Yes!" Maki cackled, "When I'm through with things, there will be no more such thing as seasickness! Muhahaha!"

The other members looked at her funny.

"She just wants to get rid of seasickness?"

Maki had gotten seasick in her ship. She didn't like it. She rarely ever experienced bad feelings, because she is a spoiled child. Therefore, Maki wanted to abolish everything in the world that ever made her feel bad or uncomfortable. This time, it happened to be the sea, which made her sick!

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Team Aqua lair...

"You guys!" Nico Yazawa screeched. "You flippin' guys... made me lose my combo!"

Everyone in the base stared at Nico.

"Want another?" One guy handed her a bag of pizza-flavored Combos.

"No, not that kind of combo!" Nico threw the bag. "I'm talking about Love Live! School Idol Festival, Nico~!"

"Love Live..."

"School Idol Festival...?"

"Does it have anything to do with the sea?" The Team Aqua Admin asked.

"Well..." Nico said.

"Get rid of it." The Admin said.

"But... it does a lot to train your fingers!" Nico smiled. "It would be easier to take over the planet with... dauntingly dexterous digits, yes~?"

The admins looked at his teammates.

"Only to train your fingers." He said, while walking off. "By the way... do you have anyone in particular that you're training them for?"

"What do you mean?" The pure Nico did not get the lewd implied joke.

"...Nothing." The Admin went behind the door.

Nico went away to her room and continued to play silently.

"I finally got my Love Gem!" She exclaimed, "I finally got the Full Combo on Kodoku na Hell... I mean Heaven. Whatever."

She pressed the "Scout" option on her screen.

"And with 50 Love Gems, I can finally..."

Nico's smile spread all across her face. Then she broke into a sweat, once she remembered that what she wanted wasn't going to be guaranteed.

Nico gulped before pressing the 50 Gems scout...

"NOOOOO!"

Nico's shriek made the base jump into the air.

"All I got it this stupid matching UR set of Rin and Hanayo. I wanted a UR Maki!"

Nico instantly hushed herself, realizing she was saying the words out loud. She looked around, and her face turned red.

"It's not like I like Maki or anything... I just... hmph... whatever. I want the card so I can rip it apart, that's all."

The admin, who was spying on Nico, was getting a bad feeling in his gut, worse than seasickness. He knew who Maki was. She was on Team Magma!

Team Aqua members should never fall in love with Team Magma members. It was to be forbidden.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a blueberry train! It's..." Rin was shouting to the sky.

"What?" Hanayo said.

"There's something in the sky!" Rin meowed.

They looked in the sky and they began to make out the shape. It was just a girl riding on a Wingull... Wait, how does that even work? Wingulls are tiny!

With a rough dismount, the girl and Wingull landed right in front of the Pokemon center.

The girl had a sweet smile and very warm presence, the kind that you would expect birds to flock to if her arms were outstretched, singing a pleasant tune.

"Where are we?" Rin asked.

"I'm Kotori from Fortree City! I'm related to the Gym Leader..." Kotori said, letting Wingull rest on her shoulder

She pulled out her map.

"Let's see... to answer your question, we're currently in Hyrule." Kotori chirped.

Things grew silent.

"Oh, silly me!" Kotori giggled, once she realized a mistake. "I was holding my map upside down! We're actually in... Mossdeep City! I think."

"Hm... But luckily, we're at the beach!" Hanayo said.

"Yeah... we could relax and play for a while. Come on, Kotori, nya!" Rin meowed.

"Well... I don't have anything else to do." Kotori chirped and held hands with Rin.

"Nya'll, look! There's a purple volleyball right there on the sandbank!" Rin exclaimed.

Rin scooped up the ball, shiny and smooth. Very smooth. It was a very very smooth volleyball. It was so smooth, it could've reminded you of a certain someone...

Rin hit the very smooth volleyball to Hanayo, and she hit it to Kotori.

Unknowingly, the fact that they were playing with the volleyball made the sea quite angry.

"Don't mess with my SMOOTH LOVER." The sea said. Except it said it spiritually, so nobody else could hear it.

All of a sudden a huge wave swept Rin and Hanayo in the water. Except not Kotori.

"...Welp." Kotori said, once she saw that her new friends were gone. Then she sighed.

"Why does everything I touch die?"

* * *

But Rin and Hanayo were alive. Underwater, they went through a mysterious Wonder Zone, bubbling and sweet like a flood of fizzy soda.

The Wonder Zone transformed Rin and Hanayo into... MAGICAL GRILLS. (Yes, grills.)

"Oh no!" Hanayo said, "I didn't even make a contract!"

"I don't want to be a magical grill..." Rin pouted.

Suddenly, a wild Tentacruel appeared! It looked very very cruel indeed. Apparently, it was also angry at Rin and Hanayo, for the same reason the sea was.

"Let's use our magical grill powers and grill that thing!" Rin yowled.

"But we're underwater." Hanayo squeaked.

"Then we'll boil it!" Rin hissed.

But before Hanayo could turn on her grilling powers, the Tentacruel started talking in a deep voice.

"Don't boil me. Hanayo, for I am Honoka's father."

"What?"

Hanayo became confused!

She hurt herself in her confusion!

"Hanayo, noooo!" Rin grabbed her with her grill arms. The Tentacruel and its looming tentacles came forth and gave Hanayo a big jab of poison!

Hanayo was poisoned... and her health was depleting every turn!

Rin fled the battle, but then the two started sinking, because they had turned from two magical grill to two regular grills. And grills sink. Just like Hanayo's HP, which was decreasing steadily.

"Ohh... If only we had a Pokemon that could swim us to the surface..." Rin thought quickly, "Like a whale Pokemon... A Wailmer."

"Wait a minute..." Hanayo weakly squeaked. "I know how to do... a Wailmer call..."

"Try it out, hurry!" Rin said, "We're falling into a bottomless pit!"

Hanayo took in a shaky breath.

"...NICO NICO NII! ANATA NO HEART NI NICO NICO NIIII!" She called with all her might.

"That's what a Wailmer call is like?" Rin asked.

"Wailmer songs can be very unique..." Hanayo was getting weaker, and her voice dropping in volume.

"Hanayo..." Rin held her tightly.

Suddenly,

"Nico Nico Nii~!" A Wailmer was approaching!

(Actually, it was just Nico in a fake Wailmer robot. But Rin and Hanayo didn't notice.)

"Quick, grab on!"

Rin and Hanayo grabbed onto the Wailmer.

"Wailmer, return us to the surface!" Rin gave a command.

Nico kindly brought Rin and Hanayo to the surface, and swam them to Mossdeep City.

* * *

When they were in Mossdeep City again, a cheese sandwich fell from the sky, and onto Rin.

Since Rin was a grill, the cheese sandwich became grilled. Therefore, it turned from a regular sandwich, to a...

"Grilled cheese sandwich!" The sandwich honked. "Hooray!"

The sandwich hopped off, and then transformed into a girl with short ginger hair.

"Yay, I've been grilled! The spell is gone!"

Rin and Hanayo had no idea what was happening.

"I'm Honoka! The evil witch Maki cast a spell on me and turned me into a cheese sandwich..." The girl said, "And the only way to break the spell is if I became grilled!"

"That's great..." Rin said, "I'm happy for you, but I don't want to be a grill anymore either. Can I turn back into a human, nya?"

"Maybe the reason you became grills was because you were destined to turn me back into a human!" Honoka bounced.

Hanayo and Rin suddenly became human again.

"That was weird." Rin said.

Hanayo coughed and trembled. Her breaths grew forced and shaky.

"Hanayo!" Rin grew shocked and held on to her in grave worry. "Hanayo, hold on. You're going to be okay..."

Rin slowly pulled Hanayo up and walked slowly with her to the Pokemon center, yet as fast as she could manage without leaving her behind.

"Kayo-chin, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..." Rin cried when she looked at her face and saw it painfully struggling.

To reassure Rin, Hanayo forced a shaky smile.

"I will... be... okay..." She coughed out.

"Oh, Kayo-chin..." Rin held on to her and shook with grief.

The entered the doors of the Pokemon center, and standing there oh-so-nonchalantly was Nurse Joy...

"Nurse Joy, we have an emergency!" Rin called out. "My friend, here... has been poisoned by a Tentacruel..."

Tears sprang into Rin's eyes.

"Please Nurse Joy... she may not have much time..."

Nurse Joy simply just shrugged.

"Sorry. We only treat Pokemon. Come back when she's a Pokemon."

Rin grew shocked and appalled.

"L-Listen, you!" She yelled, "Don't say stuff like that to me! Kayo-chin is my truest friend and I can't leave her like this, I won't deal with this!"

Rin suddenly started glowing... She lifted up into the air as epic guitar music played and took on a different form...

She opened her eyes and became... Magical Cat-Girl Rin, Nya!

"I will finish you, Nurse Joy." Rin brooded in a dark voice. "Ufufu..."

"Rin..." Hanayo tried her best to cheer on. "Rin... I love you..."

"Kano-chin..." Rin became her soft, caring self again and gazed at Hanayo for one second, the second Nurse Joy took out her gigantic anesthesia needle, to puncture Rin with it!

"Nya!" Rin leaped up and ten small blades came from her fingers... her sharp kitty claws, nya!

Honoka suddenly came through the doors.

"I'll help!"

Honoka transferred into a Magical Goose!

"Honk, Honk! Fighto Dayo!" Honoka's battle cry.

Rin used scratch, Honoka used peck, and Nurse Joy's wig fell off...

Nurse Joy was actually just Maki in disguise!

"Evil witch Maki!"

"Maki, how dare you?" Rin grew so angry, that she shot out a hyper beam!

Maki fell to the ground in defeat.

"Wait..." Maki said... "Is it true that your friend became poisoned from the sea...?"

"Yeah." Rin said, "Are you going to heal her?"

"Actually... I was planning on getting rid of the sea..." Maki grumbled, "The entire sea. Now nobody will ever get seasick or poisoned ever again! Will you guys join me?"

"But you can't do that, nya!" Rin meowed, "The sea is a wonderful thing still! I won't join you!"

As they were talking, Hanayo was inching her way towards the water cooler. She began to drank the cold, refreshing water that poured out... After that, she felt tons better.

"Rin-chan, I feel better!" Hanayo squeaked.

"Really, nya? I'm so happy!" Rin said.

"She... she just needed WATER?" Maki huffed.

"And water comes from the sea, nya. The sea is a source of life. That's why you can't get rid of it." Rin explained to Maki.

"F-fine then." Maki turned away. "Rin, you will regret your decision one day. You will wish you were on my side!"

Maki flew away on her broom.

* * *

Now that Hanayo was feeling better, Rin, Hanayo and Honoka got out of the Pokemon center to find that Kotori was waiting for them.

"Rin, you were so heroic in there!" Kotori chirped.

"Um... thanks!" Rin bashfully rubbed her head.

"Rin is so incredible!" Hanayo squeaked, "She's so strong, caring, and she wouldn't let me go in my time of need!"

"It was the least I could do for my sweet Kayo-chin... She needed it..." Rin blushed.

"But Rin is too awesome!" Kotori's eyes grew all sparkly and she nudged Rin on the shoulder.

"Uh..." Rin began feeling a bit awkward.

"Rin-chan!" Hanayo jumped on her as well.

Even Honoka got in on the act of snuggling Rin.

"It's a Rin love party!" Honoka honked.

"Rin-chan now!" Kotori and Hanayo began to sing, and then they both started spinning around her, doing things like putting cat ears on her and gushing on and on about her, really really fast.

Suddenly, Rin, Kotori and Hanayo started glowing.

"What's happening, nya?" Rin asked.

"We're evolving!" Hanayo said.

"Don't press the B button!" Said Kotori.

Congratulations, your RinPana evolved into KotoRinPana!

"Awesome!" All three of them said, "We became a threesome!"

Not only that, but they also got a brand new ship to sail! The S.S. KotoRinPana!

"Yahoo! Now we can sail the seas again!" Rin bounced. She hugged Hanayo, and then Kotori.

"Rin-chan..." Hanayo spoke.

"Yes?"

"Remember that smooth volleyball we found over here? What happened to it?"

"We lost it... the sea took it away." Kotori answered.

* * *

Meanwhile...

The smooth volleyball was actually Nozomi Toujou. (Whoa, who else didn't see that coming!?)

Nozomi had been taken away from the girls by the sea, which was Umi.

"Nozomi, there is an emergency." Umi said.

"I've heard." Said Nozomi. "Maki had turned me into this form once again. The land and the sea are both in trouble! Team Magma and Team Aqua are putting them against each other. If one of them wins, the other will be gone forever. I have to do something!"

Suddenly, there was a tall, majestic girl with blonde hair, walking on the waves as if they were tiles of land.

"Now, who is that?" Smooth Nozomi purred.

The blonde scooped up the volleyball and gave it a playful smooch.

"My my, how smooth this volleyball is." She said.

The girl, who's name was Eli, brought the volleyball to her home.

"Umi, help me!" Nozomi cried out (but spiritually, so only Umi could hear). "I'm powerless in this form!"

"Don't worry, Nozomi. I'll take care of this girl for you..."

* * *

Meanwhile, people were voting whether they liked the land or the sea better.

Everyone voted so hard that the Sootopolis City gym burst into flames. But Nico didn't care, she was off somewhere playing School Idol festival.

"Hey man, did you know there's an entire show about Umi?" One of the Team Aqua members were chatting. "It's called Team Umizoomi! It takes place in Umi city, and there's an Umi car, and the Umi Alarm! It's all about UMI!"

"Wow, so I guess the sea is taking over the world after all!"

Nico was tapping her fingers away on School Idol Festival, now that her LP was all restored. She did a solo yolo, but still, no UR Maki to be found.

"WE ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS." Somebody in the lair was watching Steven Universe.

"Crystal Gems!? I don't need Crystal Gems, I need Love Gems!" Nico cried out to the heavens.

* * *

Eli took Nozomi to Mt. Pure. It used to be called Mt. Pyre, but someone did a typo on it and now it was a Mountain of Purity.

In the center of Mt. Pure, was a secret garden. The volcanic ash all hardened and fused into glass, making this beautiful garden the "Garden of Glass".

"Welcome to the Garden of Gay. I mean, Glass." Eli said. She used her magical magic to turn Nozomi back into a human.

"Oh, my my!" Eli's face turned pink. "What a beautiful human form you have, little smooth volleyball!"

"You know..." Nozomi said blushing, "You're pretty beautiful as well... Eli."

They touched each other's faces in bliss, and a feeling of intimacy fell over them.

* * *

Meanwhile, the sea was tossing and turning in anger and sorrow.

"The land... that girl was the land!" Umi brooded, "She took Nozomi away from me!"

Umi's UMI ALARM started going off!

The waves became vicious, tumultuous and powerful. They grew taller and taller until they slapped the land right on its caboosey.

"Nozomi, don't worry! I will defeat the land for you!"

Meanwhile, Maki was at the Team Magma base, eating the Lava Cookies from Mt. Pure.

"These taste wicked!" She said.

Suddenly, the Umi Alarm started going off.

"The sea is angry at the land." The Magma Admin said. "If we don't do something now, the sea might just defeat the land and flood the entire Earth.

Maki took a nervous bite of her cookie. Her next swallow went down slow and painfully, like lava going down her throat.

"I will go out and fight the sea." She said.

* * *

The Team Aqua base was rejoicing.

"The sea is growing stronger!"

A wicked rainstorm began falling, it was so thick that you would've drowned just by standing out in the storm.

Eli, who was the land, and Nozomi, who was the sky, were laying together in the Garden of Glass, singing very gay songs together. The Garden was shielded from all the rain, as if it were a magical sanctuary, separate from all the rest of the world. Therefore Nozomi didn't know how Umi was feeling. She didn't know she was crying in pain, and all her tears became the falling rain. She didn't know that the sea was going to swallow the land.

Nozomi didn't notice the land was growing weaker, until Eli began to double over in pain.

"Elichika, are you alright?"

"I feel... I feel as if... I am drowning." Eli choked.

Nozomi stepped out of the Garden of Glass to find that everything around them was flooded.

"The sea's tears... they are flooding everything."

Nozomi felt grief and finally realized what had been happening. She wanted to get along with both the land and the sea. They were both on the Earth which was underneath her. She wanted Umi to get along with the land as well, but...

"Umi, I'm sorry. Umi... please stop! I still love you! You and I... will always be together. I love the land too, but I will always love the sea!"

"Why can't it be just you and me!?" Umi cried. "Nozomi, I love you too much..."

"If you truly loved me, then you would let me be happy, with both of you!" Nozomi cried out.

"Why... Why are you doing this to me? You met Eli only an hour ago! It's not true love!" Thunder clapped in the sky and the rain began to plummet down.

Eli came out of the Garden of Glass.

"Nozomi, Umi is jealous and doesn't deserve you." She said weakly. "I will fight against the sea... with all my might..."

"Noooo!" Nozomi cried. She didn't want either of her lovers to fight and get rid of each other. She wanted to live in harmony with both of them!

* * *

Meanwhile, Maki was flying on her broom at the outskirts of Yuricove City. Did I say Yuricove? I meant to say Lilycove.

"I see that the sea wants to fight." She said.

Maki twirled her broom and turned it into a sword of the land. Maki's magical sword got rid of any water it touched, turning it into dry, arid air.

Maki sliced her sword through the sea, but it was no use. The heavy rains restored the sea as quickly as Maki could take it away.

Then Nico descended down from the sky, with a water sword. Every bit of land it touched turned into water.

Maki and Nico got into a swordfight. It got so intense, that whoever won the fight was surely going to be the one to take over the world.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kotori, Rin and Hanayo were sailing, and they invited Honoka on their ship with them.

"Nya, nya..." Rin meowed in shock at how vicious the sea was getting.

"What should we do?" Kotori chirped weakly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Honoka saw Nico and Maki fighting.

Honoka jumped out of the ship and landed on a wobbly rock, in order to break up the battle.

"Land and sea shouldn't fight!" She honked loudly. "Land and sea should get along! Exist together in harmony!"

Suddenly, Nico and Maki's swords became stuck together, as if they were magnets.

"MAGNETS?!" They yelled in unison.

"It isn't fair!" Nico growled, "Why are our swords magnetic?"

Nico and Maki began to sing about how unfair it was, until it turned into a duet.

"Perhaps the land and sea were meant to be." Honoka said, "And that's why your swords get along better than you!"

Meanwhile, Umi and Eli were having a showdown.

Eli was shaking the ground, causing earthquakes that toppled Umi over. But then, tsunamis came forth and plummeted Eli with water.

Both of them were also trying to out-sing the other, making their voices as loud and majestic as possible.

Nozomi, even with her spiritual power, couldn't do anything to stop this huge Storm in Lover battle. All she could do is watch, wish, and sing "Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends?"

"You know what?" A Team Aqua member said, as they peered out the window, "Don't you think this is... too much water?"

"Too much water!?" The admin asked, "This was our goal! We should be rejoicing! There is water everywhere!"

"Too much water." The grunt said again. "You see... You know what made the sea so special? The fact that there was land. Now that the sea is everywhere, there's nothing special about it anymore. Can't you see?"

"You know what...?" The admin began to agree. "You're right. But now everything is out of my control. The land and sea are fighting brutally, and the sea is winning..."

"Anyway, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... it's time to propose a truce, with Team Magma. At least we can do our part in stopping this war."

* * *

Nico and Maki had fought their hearts out, and we're now laying together in shallow water, the rain soaking both their faces. They were both gasping violently for air. Maki couldn't take it anymore...

"You know what, Nico?" Maki asked, exhausted from fighting.

"Hm...?" Nico moaned. She wanted this all to end.

Maki weakly stuck out her pinkie finger, and for the first time in forever... she smiled.

"Truce." Maki said warmly.

"A truce?" Nico asked. "But why...?"

"You know... I'm just sick of fighting." Maki said. "I want us... not to be rivals anymore."

"Maki..." Nico looked at her, and her eyes filled with tears. "Maki, I never knew you felt this way. The truth is... I kind of... I wanted to get a UR card of you... in School Idol Festival because... even though I hated you, you were always my favorite!"

"That didn't make any sense, but... I felt the same about you too." Maki got closer to Nico and began to hold hands with her.

"Nico..." Maki said. "I just want one thing."

"What?" Nico asked.

"Stop playing School Idol Festival so much." Maki said, "Because your UR Maki is right here."

"What do you... mean?" Nico squeaked.

"Let me be... your UR Maki." Maki grinned sweetly. "Because I'm right here. I've always been here..."

"Maki!" Nico jumped up and hugged her new friend tightly. Maki gave Nico a comforting kiss on the forehead.

"You know, I still kind of want to be the bad guy." Maki said. "Let's join Team Rocket together, Nico.

"No way!" Nico said. "Maybe we should get good."

"Get good?" Maki asked.

"We'll be good people. We'll live in harmony with everyone, just like the land and sea from now on!"

* * *

By this point, Eli was slowly beginning to fade away, and Umi was still trying to defeat her. The rage had corrupted her heart. Umi wasn't herself anymore, but had been taken over by a jealous monster.

"Stop!" Nozomi suddenly shouted loudly and ran to where the two were.

"Please, Umi... please stop."

"I'm almost through with Eli though!" Umi was crying hysterically. "Then we can be together again, Nozomi... forever..."

Eli was groaning in pain.

"But Umi..." Nozomi looked into her eyes, hoping to restore the old, sweet Umi she once knew. "Umi, the land was meant to exist in harmony with us. Without the land, there would be no life. Without the sea, there would be no life. Can't you see why you both need each other now?"

"Nozomi..."

"Please!" Nozomi started crying and trembling, "If you kill each other... not only would that be horrible, but none of us will exist together. Umi... please..."

After a pause, the aura around Umi began to change.

"I... understand."

The rains lightened to a drizzle, and the sea began to settle and calm down.

"I'm sorry." Umi said. "I'm so sorry..."

Umi hugged Nozomi and began to cry out all her sorrow.

"Nozomi, I... I don't know what got into me. I wanted you all to myself, when really, nothing good comes out of that. I promise now I will get along with Eli. We'll all love each other equally, the way the land, sea and sky should."

Eli's strength immediately came back, and she joined in the hugging as well.

"I'm sorry too, for I'm the one who took Nozomi away." Eli spoke, "I fell in such deep love with her that I wanted her to be mine, but... who's to say we can't all share the love? I'm sorry, Umi, and Nozomi."

* * *

And from that day on, the land, sea and sky existed in harmony. Team Magma and Team Aqua became no more.

Maki, who now had Nico, stopped trying to steal Rin away, and apologized to Rin.

"You know, we can hang out sometimes if you want to, nya!" Rin said, "You seem pretty cool now."

"Really? Thank you..." Maki said. "It means a lot."

All of the ships began to sail together in harmony. Even the RinMaki would sail sometimes, but Rin would never ditch the KotoRinPana either. Everyone loved each toner in harmony, under the sky, and above the land and sea, who were wonderful lovers as well.

Then Maki got hit with a shoe again.

The end!

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Wow, so I actually updated this weird thing. I just like writing crack fics for Love Live. XD

Disclaimer: I love all Love Live ships, and I guess I'm sorry I made RinMaki the enemy? :p It used to be my NOTP (mostly because it felt like it pushed Hanayo under a bus), but now I know that isn't true and I like RinMaki now as well!

I used to be a little salty over RinMaki but now I'm not. Let all ships sail!

I used to also dislike how RinPana seemed to be the least popular main ship. They didn't even get a duet, and I'm so sad!

Unrelated, I love KotoRinPana as a threesome, and I like NozoUmiEli as well. :3

To be honest, this story has a weird moral. "Polyamory is the key", I turned out to be it, guess? I didn't truly intend that at first, but rather I wanted the moral to be to share the love, and don't get possessive over a person. I know some people don't believe in polyamory, but I'm not going to talk so deep about it here. My personal views shouldn't have anything to do with this story.

To be completely honest, this story was never really meant to have a moral anyway. XD

So anyway, who else love(d) Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire? They were my favorite Pokemon games, and I loved the remake as well. I've always wanted to live in Hoenn~


End file.
